I was viewing my friendster's blog just now which I didn't use that blog anymore. I read those old archives all over again. Memories pop up, there are sad and happy memories. I did a lot of mistakes in my past.
I just realize that I did write a blog and the title was "happier than yesterday". I am wondering, am I really happier than yesterday? Well, of cos I'm happier than yesterday as I cried for the whole day and also drank almost a jug of beer in red box (=_=), DAMN! beer again! Argh! By the way, why am I jumping around again? *tsk* must be my baby influenced me :P Well, I'm jumping again... (-.-)
BY THE WAY, I can't say I'm happier than yesterday as my mood is always going up and down, my happiness will appear but sometimes not. Thus, I cant say I'm happier than yesterday or even past few days or past few weeks past few months? I think so lar! In the blog, I mentioned that I was actually carrying 2 faces. What does it means? Well, can say is pretending, fake, hiding my sadness... My sadness is always hiding behind my smile. Wow, long time never use this phrase dy. Haha. Well, I'm jumping again dy! Am I? haha~ I also very da blur now...
Sometimes I will use my smile to cover my sadness/my unhappy look. Sometimes I will laugh like hell, but actually, my heart is extremely pain. This happened on yesterday. I was yumca-ing with Eeven, Chris and Gaman. I was actually very sad, but I was trying my best not to show that I was actually fucking sad and I told myself that turn my sadness to anger. However, I failed to do that when I was singing K with them. My tears kept on dropping... Well, I hate to become a cry baby! *tsk*tsk*!!
By the way again, I'm fine now =) I'm praying hard right now.... Why? It's because I hope my happiness can come back to me again. I'm happy in this moment now, but I'm very greedy, I wan MOREEEE n MOREEEEE n MORRRREEEE!!!
Dear Mrs Happiness, can u pwease fast fast come back and kick the stupid Mr sadness far far away from me? =] Arigato Gozaimas!
