We're gonna stay apart, maybe it's our destiny, we got no faith being together no matter how much we love each other. We struggled. But still, in the end, we still need to stay apart.
In the past 10 months, we laugh, we cry, we quarrel, we mad, all the laughter we had, all the ups and downs, I can remember every single detail. For sure will not forget our happy moments. Happy moments alwis put a cheeky smile & silly smile on my face. About the sad moments, I will hide it deep deep deep inside my heart if I can, cos sad moments are pain like million billion of needles poking into every inch of my heart. Just like my current feelings. No matter how pain am I, I kept telling myself to stay strong and try my very best to move on.
I was really in pain, but I still told myself not to cry, though yesterday I cried for around 5 min, or less than 10min. Surprisingly. If it was last time, I would cried for at least half an hour or an hour. I was wondering why? Did I really become stronger than last time or I was just trying to be cool and hold my tears not to let it flow, even right now. Many friends of my told me that no point of crying for him. No point of wasting my tears for him. It's totally pointless. I had been crying for him like nobody business. Sigh, the only way to express my feelings is to cry. at least I will feel better after crying, perhaps? No no no, usually my eyes bengkak after crying and I need to put a thick thick eye liner to cover my swollen eyes. I thought I can stay strong not to cry, but failed. I just got a phone call from my friend, my tears almost flow down when I hear his voice, when he asked about why I woke up so early, which is 6plus in the morning ! ! It's now 8.31am, I'm going to have an early breakfast wit him..
2 hours later... Just get my ass back to home and I'm currently very dizzy the nose keeps dripping water... *ish* Had breakfast wit my fren and I also bought sleeping pill for tonight and the following nights as I know I can't sleep well, for sure...
Well, let's continue blogging...
I just realized one thing, which is I haven't been staying single for almost 8 years (but of cos there's around 4 months in between for staying single la) ! ! ! Owh my gosh! It's pretty long har?
I've forgotten how is single life? How should it be like? I'm again "fresh grad" in single life, so should slowly adapt it... In the mean time, I should calm myself, be strong, let go the past and look forward.
Somehow my mind is still in mess. I couldn't think properly, always stoned for nothing, my mind is flying with many many many wings... *ouch* trying to catch it back, but I failed to do so..
Lastly, my love to him still remain unchanged. <3 you.
God bless me.
***rest in peace***
LOL! be happy Jocelyn, I miss the silly joce happy joce. love me ;)
